Have you ever asked yourself;
“What makes me happy?”
“How can I be happier?”
I mean, it’s only natural to ask ourselves these questions.
Over the years, we have planted our happiness in what we can achieve. We are literally spending most of our time pursuing material things we believe can make us live a good life that we forget to enjoy life.
It is great to shoot for the best, but then, we shouldn’t suffer. Stop going through hell hoping to reward yourself in the future — you need to unlearn this, we all need to.
What makes me happy?
Do you know?
You are likely to go speechless if you ask yourself “what makes you happy?”. Not surprising! There are so many answers until you have to give a response!
I threw the question at myself and I wasn’t able to give a genuine answer without pushing in career and money.
Why is it so difficult to answer such a simple question?
For a minute, I didn’t know what to say to myself and the next minute I was ready to fix in just anything that might make me happy.
The closest answer I could think of was achieving a goal. But this achievement births a new goal and the cycle continues. I don’t want my happiness tied to my achievements, not anymore.
Sometimes, we feel meeting our financial goal makes us happy, but in reality, we reward ourselves with another financial goal.
Why is it difficult to know what makes us happy?
“What makes me happy” is one of the hardest questions to ask yourself and here’s why; YOU ARE HUMAN, and humans are insatiable.
What makes you happy at this moment may not move a muscle the next. So, the answer to the question “what makes me happy?” is subjective because we never have the right answer.
We may not have the right answers for what makes us happy, but we can navigate to a more comely side of life, away from our jobs and career expectations
What is the best answer to “what makes you happy?”
There is no definitive answer to what makes you happy, because, it’s a simple question with a not so simple answer. However, for some people, it might be:
- Spending time with loved ones.
- Experiencing new and exciting things.
- Achieving personal goals.
- Lending a helping hand to others.
Even with the above hints, I couldn’t craft a better answer.
Here’s why we can’t answer properly to what makes you happy; happiness is a complex and nuanced emotion that is different for everyone.
While I may not have the right answers to the question, I developed 5 habits that will give me an edge, helping me maintain peace with happiness.
- Take care of my physical health by getting enough exercise and good food.
- I spend time with people I love and enjoy being with — whether it’s via call or physical meet, which I recommend. Spending quality time spent with those we care about is essential to our happiness. This may sound cliché, but spending time with your loved ones is everything.
- I take more time off to reflect on my happiest moments. Sometimes, we need the nostalgia. Reminiscing about beautiful memories take us down that happy lane. I make some of these moments into poems because I enjoy writing. Revisiting them often gives me little happiness boosts.
- I have made it a mantra to remind myself not to tie my happiness to what I can achieve. While this is not an excuse to stay lazy, it’s an opportunity to give yourself permission to be happy. Being happy is a good thing and we shouldn’t deprive ourselves of living.
- I enjoy staying indoors, but I must confess; confining yourself to a spot does more harm than good. There’s something about getting fresh air, it helps us release stress and feel better. I have made it a habit to leave the comfort of my room and step outside even for a few minutes.
Can we ever figure it out?
It’s hard to pinpoint what makes us happy, but we can never truly figure it out? What we can do, however, is make small tweaks in our lives that will lead to a Happier You.
I would never have thought that asking myself what makes me happy will have me in gridlock. It’s a relatively simple question, but it’s okay if we do not have answers we think we have.
We don’t have to figure it out, we only should walk towards happiness and work with it. I don’t have to wait for a sale, job or deal to be happy. Even the little things matter.
How not to make happiness transactional
How do we make being happy transactional?
While this may not be intentional, waiting until you reach a goal to pay attention to yourself is the worst thing we do to ourselves.
If you do anything daily that makes you unhappy, stop and ask yourself why. Once you have an appropriate answer, change your routine. If it’s a shitty job, a side hustle or more, think about your mental health and happiness.
I have been trying to unlearn a lot of my bad habits and it irks me to say that one of my bad habits is planning and never executing. It’s one thing to want something and another to work for it!
In the end, happiness is something that we should all strive for. It’s not something that we should wait to be given to us, but something that we should work towards every day. Anything within your power should not control your happiness, it should enhance it.
I’m sticking to this whole new mindset. “happiness is not transactional.”
Happiness, they say, is a state of mind and finding genuine happiness come from within. If we make happiness a reward for labor, we are only going to be opening a door for anxiety and depression.
We should avoid transactional happiness. I want to live in the moment and enjoy life as it comes. I hope that life stays fair to us all.