Self Improvement Lifestyle

How fear controls us – Why we must take over

Ever wondered how fear controls us?

Why do we run away from things because of fear?

Fear has to be a master of disguise because it comes in several other forms we know by different names. A lot of us procrastinate because we fear. Most of us are perfectionists because we fear judgement, and we often self-sabotage because we fear people will not appreciate our efforts. FEAR has to be everything we fight.

Every day, more and more projects go down the drain, courtesy of the fear of failure, rejection, under-appreciation and more. It’s crazy how we are constantly battling this shortcoming every day of our lives.

how fear controls us
How fear controls us

Creatives often battle fear excessively until they finally learn to work with it. Sometimes overcoming fear comes earlier, other times, it comes later and when it’s so bad, it never comes. No one deserves to live with a feeling of not being enough, but here we are, another day with a battle we must fight.

Watch me talk about how fear controls us

How fear controls us

Fear is a powerful emotion that can influence our actions, decisions, and even our daily lives.

So, how does fear control us?

There are different ways, some of which are listed below:

  1. Avoidance: Fear can make us avoid certain situations or people that we perceive as dangerous or uncomfortable. This can lead to missing out on opportunities or experiences that could be beneficial.
  2. Procrastination: Fear of failure or criticism can cause us to procrastinate and delay taking action on important tasks or goals. This can prevent us from reaching our full potential or achieving our desired outcomes.
  3. Indecision: Fear can create indecision, making it difficult for us to make choices or decisions. This can lead to feeling stuck or stagnant in life.
  4. Physical symptoms: Fear can also manifest itself in physical symptoms, such as increased heart rate, sweating, or trembling. This can lead to panic attacks or anxiety disorders.
  5. Control: Fear can make us feel the need to control everything in our lives to avoid uncertainty or potential negative outcomes. This can lead to micromanaging others or becoming overly controlling in our relationships.
  6. Self-doubt: Fear can make us doubt our abilities, worth, and value. This can lead to low self-esteem or imposter syndrome, where we feel like a fraud or undeserving of our successes.
  7. Negative self-talk: Fear can also create negative self-talk, where we constantly criticize or put ourselves down. This can lead to a negative self-image and a lack of confidence.

Overall, fear controls us by limiting our beliefs, actions, and potential. It is important to recognize when fear is holding us back and to work on managing and overcoming it to live a fulfilling and satisfying life.

How fear controls us with the help of the world

If you ask me, I’ll say the world currently strive on “toxic people.” These days, almost everyone wants to be a judge over someone’s business. Many people are becoming insensitive in their dealings and driving individuals into their shell. It takes extra thick skin to pull through the toxicity of the world these days.

Everything gets even more difficult because the internet is gradually overtaking our world. You can do almost anything online these days and that includes trolling.

Those miscreants are on the rise, and it’s disheartening. You’ll literally have to deal with them at all times. Yes, you need to be strong and ready for the unwarranted backlash from an unfriendly human you’ll likely never meet.

How fear controls us with the help of social media

If you are active on social media, you will have noticed how creatives use platforms like Facebook, Twitter and Instagram to promote their works to reach more audiences. It’s a beautiful practice; a chance to meet more clients and people like you.

The thing is, it takes a lot to share your projects online. If can ask questions, replies will wow you. Some people only survive the hate, others do not pull through.

Now, you see a lot of near perfect crafts online because no one seems to share their work unless it’s passed the “amazing” stage. Experience does not encourage beginners to share their not so wonderful crafts because someone out there is looking to undermine their effort.

It’s all winnings or nothing. If you are brave enough to look beyond the hate, fine! Else, you may have to crawl back into your shell waiting for perfection.

Whilst there are a lot of judgmental people who do not realize being professional in a field comes after stages of practice; you’ll find good people giving you the love and corrections you desire. You only have to look beyond your fears, which a lot of us still fight with.

It’s easy to say “filter comments and ignore the hate.”

While this might be some motivational blah blah blah, finding the positives and ignoring the negatives will help us grow. Pick constructive criticism over blatant hate. It’s difficult, but we just have to grow thicker skins as the world grows uglier.

Don’t fear failure – I have been so scared of failing that doing nothing became the only solution. That isn’t it. To avoid failure, we need to work. We can’t always control failing, but we can try. Running from tasks doesn’t combat failure, you only delay growth and impede your productivity.

Be ready to work with fear. I know it takes time to fully develop, but take the baby steps. WE WILL DO IT EVEN IF WE ARE SCARED.

Why we need to overcome FEAR

Do you know the feeling of stagnancy that strolls into your thoughts?

That should be your call to action, the one that makes you want to overcome and work with fear.

No one wants to hide behind closed doors; you don’t have to be controlled by what fear makes you feel. Sad thing is, we know FEAR is merely our projections but we still bow to its unhealthy pressure.

Fear honestly isn’t the problem, it’s how we manage it. We will have no problems if the battle doesn’t revolve around making progress and moving away from an unfriendly relationship with our self-doubt, perfectionism, self-sabotage, procrastination, comfort zone and what not. Apparently, we need to manage fear so that we can start making PROGRESS.

Anger, questions and regrets do nothing

I get so mad at myself for fearing nothing but my own thoughts and negativity.

  • “No one will listen to me.”
  • “People will bash me – why? You aren’t even hurting anyone.”
  • How did we even get here?
  • Why didn’t our parents prepare us for the battle ahead?

Questions will give us no results unless we direct them towards getting better.

FEAR: The menace that intimidates you

The stage where you feel absolute disgust is probably crazy because, despite your feelings, you still stay within the circle of fear. Yes, you are tired of dancing to the tune of stagnancy but helpless because you are still scared of fighting fear. The steps you need to take involves doing what FEAR forbids, leaving your comfort zone.

You know, people keep saying, do what makes you scared, amazing! But how do you begin when fear prevents you from taking any action?

While this is difficult, we’ll have to work with our fears else we are going nowhere.

Stop listening to your fears – No, there is nothing wrong with listening to your fears. If you’ll agree with me, we know when the voice in our head is a projection and not some warning.

“I want to work with fear more. I want to ignore the voice in my head that limits my creativity.”

Stop imagining failure; Take that leap now. Unless it is physically or mentally hurting yourself, take the leap and stop foreseeing failure before you start.

The “WHAT IFs” might be true, but…

If there is any voice I wish I didn’t have to listen to constantly, it’s the negative “WHAT IFs” in my head.

What if this doesn’t work as planned?

You may have no guarantee that whatever you are currently involved in will work as planned, but there is always only one way to find out; except you can travel through time.