Hello dear and welcome to the first day of my confused state of mind mindboggling findings. This is not just a step discovery challenge but its also more like a 30 days blogging challenge for me, as well as a plot to overcoming some procrastination ish. I only hope I don’t get tired too soon! It’s only the first day and I already feel worse than Garfield!
Now, lets head over to the First Topic of my 30 days challenge. It absolutely wasn’t thought through but there was no need to think it through because it came in like a flash and “Discovering My Self Worth”, was the first issue I could Point out of my may overwhelmed thoughts!
There are too many unanswered questions, Ones that have weighed me down over the years and others with answers I’ve refused to hold on to (I rather not be told the truth). If you’ve had issues with loving yourself, then the word self-worth shouldn’t be so strange to you. There are just so many challenges with rekindling/discovering your worth and over the years, I’ve realized the negativity of not loving or valuing my self. It is disastrous, trust me. The ability to manage your life at this stage becomes slightly difficult…
Playing The Victim; Questions Without Answers
Sometimes, I assume all that needed to be checked and balanced had been done rightful but then, I find myself still struggling and worrying over what the young lads/ladies and people laughed/talked about after passing by. Most times it’s thoughts of why people take me for granted. Why I had to suffer so much for being good to people, despite always submitting to their needs and quarries at the expense of mine. It’s worth asking why I always have to be the victim. The one who gets damned for being nice and Caring. I’ve stared at the cloud wondering why I had to lose friends I held so dearly in my heart. What offense could have triggered such from people I’ve always loved and valued. Was I never deserving?
Despite my trials and attempts to keep those I felt had a hold on my values, they always left to my detriment.
It got dawned on me that I’ve placed so much importance on people than myself, apologising for being me, “shape-shifting” and twisting my morals to suit their requirements. Was it ever meant to be so deep? Of course not. You too probably need to stop living someone else’s life.
Having experience just a little of what most people go through, there’s been lots of lessons learnt and a lot more to learn, below are just a few;
- • I’ve learnt to improve on myself and be me for me and those who genuinely care.
- • I’ve accepted the fact that I can never be perfect nor please everyone.
- • I’ve learnt to love and value myself and every day, I improve drastically.
- • I can not force nor cajole people to stay in my life no matter how much I value them.
- • Though it seems so difficult to let go of people who feel you don’t deserve them or whatever but it’s a journey I’m willing to take. I’ll let go of whomsoever wishes to. I’ve got nothing to regret, I wasn’t so dumb to let them go despite their shortcomings. Nobody deserves to make you feel bad about your self. Maybe you will think about them, but you will always get over it.
- • I’m unique and there is no need for comparison. Don’t ever compare yourself with anyone… It’s destructive even though you don’t realize it until it’s too late.
- • It’s my self-worth, why do I depend on people’s opinion to see that? I don’t have to be on an expensive outfit to realize that I’m priceless!
Here are sites I’ve visited today, seeking answers to my numerous questions that obviously need to go way ahead of being rhetorical: